Foreplay

My apologies for the double post the other day. As we say down here in the south, I've had too many irons in the fire.

I think many people are confused as to what foreplay is. Believe it or not there are men who think taking a woman out to dinner and paying is foreplay. Really? I’m not sure how they figure that because personally eating food doesn’t turn me on.

It doesn’t take much for me and I’m constantly aroused but many women need a bit more coaxing to get them moist.

What is foreplay? It is anything that arouses sexual interest and is a singular act. I hesitate to say it only benefits one of the two partners because there are some of us who get equally stimulated by performing acts on their mate when their own genitals aren’t engaged. Those people are true gems to find.

Foreplay is anything that makes the other person sexually aroused, if she is female it will make her vagina lubricate, if he is male he will get an erection. This can be any number of things depending on the individual and what turns them on. Here is where communication comes in. It helps to ask what they want or like but many people are shy about such things, whether asking or telling so I advice you to just do the basics and look for the signs that what you are doing is working.

There are entire volumes on each act so if you want to educate yourself on how to do any particular one buy a book. If you are too shy to go to the bookstore, order online. The Internet has made it very easy for introvert people to purchase any manner of information without anyone knowing. The great thing is that they now have reviews so you can read what other people thought about them before you get out your credit card.

If you enjoy giving it will show and your partner will enjoy it more. There’s nothing sexier than a happy participant.

Foreplay is more important for women than men. Men can be hard and ready in a matter of seconds (in most cases); women often need more coaxing to become lubricated. Unless a man can last quite long during intercourse and a woman can orgasm during penetration she will need a bit more fun before hand.

Oral sex:

I don’t put much stock in statistics as a rule due to the fact they can be swayed in any direction people want them to go depending on the demographics and selected participants. However, when we consistently see numbers that are in agreement we might at least take notice and do self-examinations. Not that kind of self-examination, I mean the internal one where we look to see if we have room for improvement and if so what can be done.

According to Men’s Health, fifty percent of women perform oral sex on men but only 40 percent of men reciprocate.

Some men have this attitude if it doesn’t benefit them they aren’t interested. Well guess what? It does benefit you only not the way you think. If you are willing to go downtown on her she will be much more excited about the idea of kissing your Willy.

Most people are turned on by receiving oral sex. The only ones who are not are either very religious and taught it is a carnal sin or they had a bad experience.

Women who do not like cunnilingus typically think it is gross. They can’t imagine you wanting to do it because of the mess and she’s thinking about it too much to relax and enjoy herself. Some also don’t want you to kiss them afterward because they don’t like the taste and/or mess. A few glasses of wine will usually loosen her up and after she finds out how enjoyable it is she gets past the negative thoughts about it.

Men who don’t like cunnilingus have some of the same complaints the above women have and there isn’t a whole lot you can do about that one other than for him to work on other techniques. Oddly enough, women are more patient about this than men are about fellatio. Go figure.

Men don’t usually have hang ups about fellatio unless they are religious and even most of those are closet lovers of lipstick on the dipstick and just don’t advertise the fact they love getting head and if they are going to hell for it they will enjoy the ride.

Women who don’t like going down on a guy have usually had a bad experience. The guy forced her to deep throat and she gagged, she doesn’t like the taste of semen or she can’t get past the idea you pee with that thing. Compromise on some of these things; go easy, don’t push and talk it out. If you want fellatio badly enough and don’t want to find another woman you’ll figure it out. Don’t expect her to take the whole sausage or pull out before you shoot. It’s as simple as that. Oh and don't forget hygiene guys. I've heard some women were put off by a crusty penis or jock smell.

Fingering and hand jobs:

Guys, make sure you don’t have any hangnails or rough places on your fingers or she will come off the bed and not in a good way. You know how sensitive your testicles are; the inner folds of the vagina are just as touchy if not more so. Watch and listen to her reaction, you’ll figure out what works and what doesn’t. If she is admiring her manicure and waiting for you to move to the next level, you are doing it wrong. Don’t forget her clitoris. Think of the little man in the boat as a tiny penis. That is the on button. Just go easy or it will become raw and then the party is over.

There’s also the “G” spot. I’ve read all kinds of weird things about this and can’t figure out why it’s so hard to find. Take your finger (you only need one) and put it in the vagina in a “come here” motion pointing upward. You should feel something soft and spongy right behind the pelvic bone. Don’t expect a huge reaction. Most women just get wetter when this is stroked. If however, you couple that with clitoral stimulation, either with another finger or your tongue, she will enjoy it.

Hand jobs aren’t that complicated. You are just stroking a guy up and down with your hand around his penis. Again, watch and listen to see if you are doing it right. If he can still pay attention to a ball game you are doing it wrong. Don’t forget his testicles and be gentle. You want to tickle them and if you have fingernails run them gently over the sack in easy strokes while your other hand rubs up and down. There’s also that spot between his balls and rectum you can massage.

Nipples:

Men and women alike find this an erogenous zone. You can use your fingers to roll them, flick them or stroke across. Some people don’t get aroused at all; so don’t be too disappointed if you don’t get a reaction. A man who enjoys getting his nipples sucked isn’t gay. We all start out the same in the womb and later some grow penises. We all have the same nerve endings to our nipples and some are more sensitive than others.

Incidentally, I have heard that women who have had breast implants sometimes lose sensation in their nipples due to nerve damage.

There are many more things you can do but these are the basics. If you aren’t having much luck with your current techniques read up on other things you can do, introduce vibrators or other toys. Don’t feel inadequate if she isn’t responding to your hands or mouth but does to a toy. Some women are harder to arouse than others and it’s not your fault. There are also the rare women who aren’t aroused by anything, poor souls.