Tired of Being Censored

I don’t typically write rants but I’m aggravated. It takes a lot to piss me off but I’m there.

Part of the reason I started this blog was due to being censored in other places. Here I can write whatever I damn well please and since I had y’all click that little “over 18” button I can talk about anything I want without the Internet police showing up at my door step.

I write in many different places and each one has certain criteria and rules that have to be followed but sometimes it borders on hypocritical and asinine. When they tell you not to write anything sexual in nature I get it and it makes sense but to then show ads out to the side that I didn’t set up that have scantily clad women, lingerie or erotic books in them, it doesn’t make sense.

I understand wanting to protect minors from certain material but sometimes people go overboard. When you can’t even write an article and mention the genre “erotica” it is getting ridiculous. I didn’t even define erotica and God forbid I certainly didn’t post provocative pictures or say naughty words. I did give a few examples of erotica author’s names but surely Lovejoy, Tart and Dewy Tulips isn’t going to scar children for life.

Rules are fine and I have no problem adhering to them but be consistent and make advertisers and other writers follow the same guidelines or it’s not fair. Also don’t be vague. Sending an email that doesn’t give clear changes you want made isn’t helping either one of us.

The same site gives free rein if you want to write about casting out demons, cleansing someone’s spirit or talk about the latest tent revival. I’m sure they think I need to be drug kicking and screaming to the altar and prayed for.

A latest video of a moderator mentioned she wouldn’t want her four year old to read any risqué articles. Why on earth would she have a toddler reading stories online? He should be watching Sesame Street or playing outside for Pete’s sake.

So… instead of pulling out the tequila bottle, kicking my dog or cussing out the mailman I’m here griping to y’all. For the record I’d never kick my dog I love him too much.

Woman Smuggles Heroin in Vagina, Naked Woman Mountain Climbing and Risque Lady GaGa Photo Shoot

This woman had 54 bags of heroine and pills and some money in her vagina, I can’t even imagine, she must be huge.

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504083_162-20045765-504083.html

Naked woman rescued while mountain climbing in Torrey Pines:



Interesting things in nature; not sure if these are real or not but they look pretty convincing.



Another hot commercial from Calvin Klein. Please send me a note if you notice any of my videos being removed and I’ll redo them.



Lady GaGa risqué Supreme photo shoot:



Sex and the City- blow job; They don’t call it a job for nothin’:



Bad girls club photo gallery:

http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/galleries/divas_who_dominate/divas_who_dominate.html

Make the Girl Dance- Baby Baby Baby:

Faking Orgasms

Many women do it for various reasons. I never have but I orgasm easily and never needed to.

1) They aren’t really into what you are doing. Some women can’t orgasm no matter what you do so don’t take it personally.

2) She’s tired or has too much on her mind. For women an orgasm starts in her brain so if she’s thinking about the kid’s dentist appointment tomorrow or that project her boss is nagging her about it isn’t going to happen.

3) You’ve had frequent sex lately. Some women only have a number of orgasms in them and you’ve used her quota or she could be a bit sore but not telling you to save your feelings.

The trouble with women faking it is that if it happens consistently her guy won’t know what he is doing isn’t turning her on and he will just keep with his usual routine. For those normal women who are capable of reaching climax she is only making her boring love life worse.

Women are typically not very good at talking to men about what they want because they have been repressed. If she loves the man she may be afraid she’ll hurt his feelings. Men do have a vulnerable ego.

http://dewytulips.blogspot.com/2011/02/lady-in-parlor-whore-in-bedroom.html

So what do you do?

First of all, women need to stop pretending. When you aren’t having sex discuss things that you would like him to add to your lovemaking. If you can’t bring yourself to say it out loud write it down or send him an email. You can do it without sounding negative or making him feel bad. If you’ve been acting this whole time it will be a little hard to bring up because up until now he thought everything was copacetic. So don’t be surprised if the first words out of his mouth are, “I though you liked what I’ve been doing.”

In answer to that tell him, “Yes but variety is the spice of life.”

He may even ask you where you learned that or got the idea. Romance novels or erotica are good answers. Send him a link with suggestions. Some men just don’t think women are capable of coming up with new moves on our own, especially if you are supposed to be a “good girl”.

Not all women are created equal. I’m sure men have certainly noticed this. What brings us to orgasm is not the same. Some need penetration, some need more clitoral stimulation and some need both at the same time.

If you are with a girl who has to have clitoral stimulation to reach the big “O” and your favorite position is doggie, it isn’t going to happen. You are going to have to use a vibrator or your hand, reach around and play with the little man in the boat at the same time (which isn’t easy for most men) or do this position for a while and then turn her around and end with missionary or other front-to-front position. If you are a guy who is intimidated by toys or her making her own happy ending with her hands while you are doing the deed, then I suggest ending with a frontal entry.

Some women can only orgasm if her G spot is hit and these girls usually prefer doggie or other rear entry positions.

Here is an article giving you guys hints on how to tell if she is faking it but I will tell you that you can’t go by all of these. Depending on the woman some of these aren’t good indicators.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/vanessa_150/152_love_secrets.html

If a woman has good vaginal muscle control we can tighten around a man’s penis even if we aren't having an orgasm. Some of us don’t sweat and some of us already have dilated pupils. The rapid heartbeat is a good indicator but if she’s been doing a good imitation of Meg Ryan she may have worked herself up to a good cardiovascular work out without climaxing.

In the long run, it doesn’t really matter anyway. If the two of you are happy with how things are now and she isn’t complaining then you are probably doing okay. If she is putting you off more and more frequently then you should talk to her about what turns her on and see if you can change up your routine a bit.

Red Elvises- Bedroom Boogie:

Naked Book Salesman, Facebook Faux Pas and Mail Order Husbands

This fellow sells books in the nude, oh and he plays the piano and sings, “I got a little nothing.” :o)

http://www.aolnews.com/2011/03/16/naked-pianist-paul-winer-proud-of-his-organ/

You never know what kind of person a woman or man will be attracted to. Take this couple for instance; this fellow doesn’t seem at all bothered by the fact his woman is on the large size. I hope she doesn't squash him.

http://alpinfun.blogspot.com/2010/03/strange-couple-16.html

Here's a video of Peter Le in all his naked glory. Oh my.

http://www.peterfever.com/main.php

We’ve all heard of mail order brides, well now you can get a mail order husband. I guess it was just a matter of time. That’s right, you girls that are having a hard time finding that special man in your life can now get one via catalog. “Every man tip top no doubt.”

They range in age from 18-45 and trained to be sensitive, open and caring. So what are you waiting for?

http://www.thetoque.com/romance/mail-order-grooms-shipped-to-order/

Apparently this fella forgot he was already married and wed a new bride, posted pictures on facebook and well… first wife turned him in.

http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/03/20/facebook-flub-man-charged-with-polygamy-after-posting-second-wedding-photo-online/?xid=rss-nation-yahoo

I’m not sure what to say about this next video and am truly ashamed at the number of times I’ve watched it. I’m sure it’s the red fans that capture my attention. ;o)

Cheating With a Vibrator

Is it considered cheating if a woman uses a vibrator?

Many men have strong opinions about mechanical pleasure devices and whether or not a woman should use one. Men fall in two categories:

a) They do not want their girl to own or use one. These men consider it cheating.

b) The more adventurous or kinky chap has no issue, may even buy her one and some even incorporate it into playtime.


Group A are often religious and/or old fashioned in believing that a woman’s orgasms are solely the job of a man. (Religion doesn’t always have anything to do with it; I’ve seen atheists with just as strong views.) These guys tend to also be against masturbation via her hand as well as other instruments: cucumbers, electric toothbrush or whatever else a lady might decide to put between her legs.

Some might say these fellows are insecure. While a few are, I think it goes back to a previous blog I wrote on ladies being demure beings that only turn into sex kittens when her man enters the bedroom.

http://dewytulips.blogspot.com/2011/02/lady-in-parlor-whore-in-bedroom.html

She is to keep her thoughts clean and not even consider ideas of a naked nature until he turns her on. He has the only remote to her clitoris and until he hits the button she is to remain chaste.

I live in the Bible belt so I know all about these men. It is the reason many southern states have laws against vibrators.

So back to our question: is it cheating?

If your man has told you he does not want you to have one, then in his mind yes you are cheating. Technically, anything you do behind your spouse’s back of a sexual nature is cheating. In the right state, with a patriarchal judge and a good lawyer he may even have grounds for divorce in states with laws against them.

Should a woman buy one anyway?

While I do not encourage lying or cheating I will say this. IF your man travels, is in the military and is gone a lot; or IF he has a low libido I say, “yes.”

In my opinion having and using a vibrator is much better than chasing down the UPS man who may be happy to help you out but not a good idea. Sometimes a girl has to take matters into her own hand, so to speak, and if your husband/boyfriend thought about it very long would agree that using a dildo is much better than finding a boy toy.

Hide it well, what he doesn't know won't hurt him; not really.

While a man might have a harder time finding a woman to accommodate him without paying her, women don’t have to look very far, at least in most cases. So to me it is much better than cheating with the real thing.

Hysteria was a Victorian name for a sexually frustrated woman with a bad case of nerves. While I don’t believe this disorder/disease to be real I will tell you that a female who hasn’t had sex in a while can be a bit difficult to live with.

Will women prefer a vibrator to a man?

I’m sure there are exceptions just like there are some men that prefer masturbation to sex with women but in most cases nothing beats the feel, smell and taste of a real man. A vibrator can’t put his arms around you, snuggle up in bed or say sweet words in your ear.

Lesbians aren’t interested in men to begin with so in their case a mechanical device doesn’t make any difference.

Should you put it inside your vagina?

Hygiene issues aside,(hopefully you are cleaning it after each use and storing it well) there are laws in some states that are okay as long as you don’t penetrate your lady bits with foreign objects.

Back in Victorian times when doctors treated women for hysteria, they had machines that tickled a woman’s clitoris but never went inside. In fact there was a huge controversy about the first pap smears because back then only a woman’s husband was allowed to enter her vagina and putting instruments inside was considered a big no-no.

I know some women only orgasm with penetration so do whatever you feel is necessary and right for you.

Only Feminists and Lesbians use vibrators.

I am neither a feminist nor a lesbian; I’m not even bisexual. Typically the men who are firmly against vibrators say this and while many feminist and lesbians are avid users, women who seek the pleasure of these devices don’t necessarily fall into either group.


There is a movie coming out called Hysteria but I couldn’t find a trailer for it yet. Sounds like it could be interesting. Here is a story about the movie.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/nov/07/vibrator-victorian-women-film-hysteria

Sexy Grannies, Virtual Affairs and Fantasy Nudes

Y’all just never know what I’m going to come up with, hell some days I surprise myself. Anyway, here’s a video that had me laughing out loud, literally. If you go to YouTube and read some of the comments that’s worth a few more chuckles.



This hotel boasts that is has the most sexy employees so if any of y’all are planning a trip to Russia you might want to check this one out.

http://www.exoticvacationplaces.com/2011/03/sexy-employees-of-congress-hotel.html


Here’s an interesting article about online virtual affairs on sites like World of Warcraft and other fantasy cyber lands. Some take it a bit more serious than just a game and divorces are sometimes the result.

http://vpecs.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=45&Itemid=4


And while we’re on the subject of fantasy here’s a site with nude characters.

http://www.elfwood.com/~jarrett/AD-D-Racial-Height-Comparison-Male-%28Warning-NUDITY%29.2831655.html

Cleaning dirty balls. This Axe commercial is funny.

Keeping Him Hard, Kiss and Tell and Sexy Beef Cakes

Keeping him hard can sometimes be a challenge but I know a few tricks that can help you girls out a bit. Some guys are tired, have a libido problem or maybe had a bit too much to drink and need a little helping hand---so to speak.

Reach between his legs and tickle his balls. Depending on which position you are in you might need to do a little acrobatics but you should be able to reach the treasure. If you have long fingernails this works best; not too hard you aren’t scratching, only tickling.

Lick and/or suck his nipples. Men either love this or are indifferent. Hopefully by now you know if your guy likes his nipples caressed or not.

Suck his earlobe. A man’s ear is an erogenous zone, not many women know this but it is. Lick or suck them in a sexy way and see if he doesn’t respond.

Run your nails over his back ever so lightly. You girls with bitten or blunt nails are out of luck but trust me, this one works. Don’t forget to go down over his buttocks too, he’ll like it.

Run your fingers through his hair. Again, having nails works. The gentle sensation of nails on skin sends an electric shock to his crotch.

Blow in his ear. Go easy, he’s not a blow up doll, just a slight whisper of breath. You can moan or say something sexy at the same time for added effect.

If these don’t work try a gentle hand job or fellate him for a bit. Whatever you do don’t sigh loudly or act irritated. Your body language and attitude can make or break it.

Kissing

Different cultures have their own ways of doing things and kissing is one of them. Some countries seem to kiss everyone and it’s no big deal but others consider it very intimate and you can get arrested if you do it in public. Here is an article on the various views people have on kissing.

http://www.kissingsite.com/differentcultureskissing.htm

Thunder from down under. I declare I do believe it is storming in Australia. ;o)